Where your heart is...

I guess it all comes down to where your heart is.

It's there your thoughts and feelings all begin;

But if you never give your heart to Jesus

You'll never really have a part in Him.

If your treasures are in heaven

Then your heart will be there too;

And the things you say and do will show Christ's love.

But if your treasures here on earth

Tell me where your heart will be.

You'll never have a part in things above.

If your mind's set on the Spirit

And you're walking in God's light

Then the watching world will see Christ's love in you.

But if your mind's set on the earth

And the earthly things you do

In poverty you'll live your whole life through.

I guess it all comes down to where your heart is.

It's there your thoughts and feelings all begin;

But if you never give your heart to Jesus

You'll never really have a part in Him.

This song shall be the theme song for 2009. I guess it really all comes down to where our heart-where is our heart really set upon. Today in AF, we talked about 3 kinds of heart. The cold heart, the God-and heart and lastly, the private heart. Mine is the second heart. The past 2 years had been a wild chase after things that doesn't satisfy. It had been a seeking for temporary satisfaction, as Dr Ajith rightly put it, "bursts of pleasure". It been two years of intense trials. It had also months of hurts, disappointments and what have you. Packing up all these things and sorting them out, i feel that i am ready to move on to another journey. A journey that leads closer to our heavenly home. I thank You that in the wilderness You spoke. I thank You that You led me to the wilderness in order to speak to me when i was hard of hearing. I thank You that in my lowest point, You did not forsake me but led me and spoke to me gently. I thank You that You showed me the depth of Your love and that nothing can seperates us from Your love. I thank You that You are always faithful despite man's waywardness. I thank You for being who You are. I thank You that You are You.

A sister said, "You do have a lot of energy. And you must use the energy well". 2009 shall be one where i want to utilise this energy. I want to make a difference while i still have the time.

And so, the blog is named "The Heart Story". It is the story of the heart. A story of how the heart has love Jesus and love His people. The story starts to unfold....

My life.

Lost in my life. Lost in myself. There is a need to find some direction in my life once again. People left me disappointed and disillusioned. Sometimes i really wonder, what is friendship all about? Or is there really true friendship in this world? I am tired of all the searching. I am tired of living my life like this. Is life ever fair. WY told me, this is my portion. We all have different portions in life and it is never a choice. Is that right? Can someone tell me the answer to that?

Just yesterday, i was entertaining this thought of going to Thailand to work...yes. social work. one years to two years. Question ppl ask me, will i be able to stand the loneliness there? being alone? I know i can't. People ask me, am i escaping? Maybe i am.

I don't know what to do anymore.

Ending all

I used to have a best friend.
There is nothing we could not talk about.
There is nothing that we could not tell each other.
We used to go out very often.
We felt very connected with each other.
We have similar likes and dislikes.
We love each other.

Today, things had change.
There are many things we did not tell each other about.
There were many lies that was told.
We felt distanced now.
I guess, she no longer loves me.

Today, we have ceased to be good friends.
Today, i guess we are just fated to be colleagues.

It has to end all today.

fading away...

Talking to you suddenly feels so far and yet so near. I guess this is the first step of me keeping a distance from you. Don't blame me. You made it happen. You started it first. I am not evil or taking revenge. I am just protecting myself from getting further hurts again. This time i must play the game well. This time i must do it so that you can slowly fade away in my life.

Actually for all the things i had done for you, i don't believe i had to receive this kind of treatment. I told u all things. I treated u well no matter what. But you happy you tell me. You not happy you lie. You had been making use of me. Is that the way how you would treat me?

I have nothing to say.

Quits

After what had happened last week, i am very certain of this thing. That i don't need a friend like her. I have decided to call it quits. And we will no longer be close friend, but just colleagues. This, i will feel happier.

Existence

Today is the day where K has ceased to exist. She doesn't know why she exist. She has been a puppet all along. And today, she has decided to close up her heart. Her heart is a sacred place she wants no one to enter into. From today onwards, she will tell no one her struggles, no one her decisions, no one her problems. Only to this blog. Maybe a blog is more trustworthy. I hope it sure is.